Nothing Says "Happy Birthday" like Arteriosclerosis

So, today is my birthday. My 28th birthday, and my first birthday in Canada. There are no great cultural differences in the way birthdays are celebrated in Canada, as opposed to in the United States. But being new to the country, I thought that it would be a good time to experience old school birthday traditions within my new Canadian milieu.

For this most auspicious occasion, I decicded to blend the time-honoured tradition of eating terrible and bad-for-you food, with a Canadian phenomenon: poutine.

For the record, this is an actual picture of the actual poutine that I ate. The smiley face ketchup gives it a little something extra, no?

For the un-initiated, poutine is a Canadian "delicacy"* of Québecois origin. It consists of a bed of french fries, topped with fresh cheese curds, and lovingly smothered in beef gravy. Mmmmm... sort of makes your arteries harden just to think about it. Now, to be fair, expectations can't be too high to begin with. We've already covered the bland Canadian palate. But, I had high hopes for a dish coming out of francophone Canada. I was not disappointed.

Poutine has flavor (not flavour), to be sure. Time would fail me to tell of the flavor of poutine. Let me just say that from the first mouthful to the final bite, I was taken on a journey of taste. A journey of greasy, cholesterol-laden delight. Poutine was, at one and the same time, the most disgusting thing I have ever eaten in my entire life, and the most wonderfully flavorful thing I've gotten at a run-of-the-mill restaurant in Canada so far.

Don't get me wrong, I am not in any particular hurry to have a second go at poutine. Far from it. If I ever see gravy-covered potatoes and cheese again, it will be too soon. I imagine that poutine is the kind of thing you eat only because it's on offer at the free meal you're getting courtesy of the Residence Life Office at university. Or if you're extremely stoned. Or have destroyed your tastebuds with a cup of Tim Horton's coffee that was served too hot, and you can't taste anything else anyway.

If you ever find yourself up this way, I urge you to give poutine a try. If for no other reason than it provides a convenient excuse to be under the influence of something (preferably something containing atorvastatin calcium).

*I use the term loosely. There is nothing delicate about poutine.